The winter holidays are coming up quickly. Hanukkah ends today, Christmas is up next, the day after Christmas Kwanzaa begins, then the new year will be here, before you know it!
No matter which holiday you choose to celebrate, singles often suffer feelings of loneliness during the holiday season. Even if you are surrounded by family members, many times they’ll make jokes about your singleness or ask when you are going to bring someone home for the holidays. Laugh it off and don’t let these things get to you. The main way to have a lonely holiday is by thinking of it constantly. “Another year alone on Christmas…” “Another year without anyone to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve…” Thoughts like this are not helpful and only making you feel more lonely.
Instead, do things you love to do. If you enjoy the outdoors, bundle up and take a peaceful hike on a trail you have been meaning to try out. Love movies? Pop some popcorn, grab your favorite movie treats and have a movie night. The movies you choose don’t have to relate to a holiday. Pick a few movies you have really been wanting to see, so you can have something to look forward to. Of course, not thinking about your loneliness is easier said than done. The key is to be active or engaged in something that takes your mind off of it. If you have family or friends you can spend time with try to plan activities with them, even if it’s just a night of playing boardgames, while drinking and laughing together.
The holidays are a great time to meet people. Usually, there are several singles mixers and other holiday events that you could attend to meet someone special. Think of the holidays as a time to meet someone, rather than a time to be lonely. Bowling alleys, bars, some retail stores, ice skating rinks, and a few other attractions are open on holidays. There is a lot more to do than mope around at home on the holidays. Get in the holiday spirit and enjoy your free time to do things you enjoy this holiday season.
We came across two insightful articles about surviving the holidays, enjoy!:
Sometimes finding love takes a long time. It stinks not knowing when it is going to happen, but you have to have perseverance and remain confident enough to know it will happen. Don’t let your enthusiasm waiver and don’t compare your journey to love to your friends’. Everyone’s journey is their own.
This post is inspired by four One on One Matchmaking clients who were engaged last month. One of the female clients met her fiancé on her 1st date and the other met her fiancé on her 15th date. You never know when it’s going to happen, but as long as you are trying, it will!
Think of finding a life partner as finding your dream job. You are going to go on lots of interviews and not a get a few of the jobs. Of the jobs you do get, you are not going to love them all, so you will leave…until you find the job that seems like the perfect fit and worth staying at forever.
Don’t get discouraged when budding relationships end. Be happy you have an opportunity to find something better.
Until next time, good luck!
Lately, it seems we have been getting more and more men complaining about women at singles events, meant for meeting someone to date, claiming they are there to “make friends.” We’re going to give it to you straight fellas. She is there to make friends, when it comes to YOU. That doesn’t mean she isn’t looking for a relationship…especially, if she is at a singles event meant to help her find one.
This is a nice way of saying she isn’t interested. We always encourage women to be honest when they are not interested in a guy, but sometimes they just don’t have it in them to tell you.
This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. You just may not be her type. Move on to a woman who is looking for a relationship…with someone like you.
Until next time, good luck!
You might be asking yourself, “What’s a personal brand?” A personal brand is one line of key traits that embodies who you are. This idea was developed by Rachel Greenwalt in her book, “Find a Husband After 35.” Coming up with this line is tough because of how complex our personalities can be, but your personal brand should highlight your best qualities. After people come in contact with you, they should always leave you or your online profile knowing your most interesting traits.
For instance, let’s say your favorite traits about yourself are that you are world-traveler, health enthusiast, and golfer. On your online dating profile your byline would be “World-traveling, health enthusiast, golfer.” This is just an example. You can pick any three traits for this, but be mindful about wording, because your photos and words are the only way people decide if they want to talk to you online. Express your personal brand through photos by posting pictures of yourself on your travels or while on the golf course. You should always reinforce your brand in some way.
In person, your personal brand should be used like a commercial. As you talk to someone you are interested in, sprinkle in your personal brand. Don’t blurt it at random, but as the different parts of your brand fit the conversation. If the topic of traveling comes up, be sure to state some of the exotic locations you have been to. If you discuss things you do for fun, talk about your love for golf and how much fun it was playing last weekend. Talking about food? Be sure to highlight how much you love food and enjoy coming up with fun ways to make healthy dishes taste great. Don’t feel pressure to mention every part of your brand, but try to do so, when it makes sense.
The easiest way to share your brand without being awkward, is to have something to say, when people ask you tell them about yourself. You should already know how you would answer this question. Remember, you want the person to leave knowing your favorite traits about yourself. Tell them enough to get them interested in getting to know more about you.
To learn more about personal branding and how to create your personal brand take a peek at “Find a Husband After 35″ by Rachel Greenwalt. Don’t let the title deter you. There are great ideas for how to market yourself in the dating world for people of all ages and many of the tips are applicable to men as well.
Until next time, good luck!
Wondering if someone is relationship material, after going on several casual dates, is common. The question is what is it that makes someone relationship material? Today we’re going to give you four key points to help you determine whether or not your sweetie is just for fun or in for the long haul.
1. The person does NOT say, “I don’t want a relationship”- If someone tells you he or she does not want a relationship, believe them. You can’t put what you want on the back burner and hope he or she will eventually want the same thing. You are much more likely to develop a serious relationship with someone who is on the same page as you. Of course, there are always exceptions, but don’t put all your hope into someone who has already told you they don’t want what you want.
2. He or she let’s you into their world- Anyone who let’s you get to know close friends or family, especially, probably wants to keep you around for a while. Also, doing routine activities like exercising together is a good sign, because you are now part of their routine. Someone who isn’t relationship material will be secretive of their personal life. Often, they will keep you separate from all aspects of their life, including friends, family and most of their routine activities. If you only see your sweetie on the weekends, when they have nothing else going on, you are not dealing with someone who is ready for a relationship with you.
3. They are NOT the “me, me, me” type- People who care only about themselves are not relationship material. This doesn’t mean that they will never find their match, but they need to go through more life experience and have a few revelations about what it means to be in a relationship, before you or anyone enters a relationship with them. Trying to make a relationship work with someone like this will be exhausting and emotionally depleting. These types of people do not reciprocate emotional support, which is important for a healthy relationship.
4. He or she communicates well- Poor communication can ruin a relationship. Gauge the communication skills of the person you are dating, before entering in a relationship with them. Do they just pop up without asking if you are available? Do they cancel plans randomly? If they are in a bad mood, do they talk to you about what’s bothering them or do they lash out? These are all things you should think about. Not communicating properly about plans or emotions can wear heavily on both you and your relationship.
We hope these tips are useful and that your current sweetie is in it for the long haul!
Until next time, good luck!