The date was a success! You talked and laughed for hours. You call your hot date to ask for a second one. What happened? Your hot date turned cold.
This happens to both men and women. Anything could have happened. Maybe it was something you said, lack of chemistry or an ex swept them off of their feet right after your date. Some things you can’t avoid but the way you carry yourself on your date is in your control. Make sure you didn’t commit any of the offense below. If you did, that may be the reason your hot date turned cold.
You Referenced Your Ex: Sure, everyone knows not to talk abouttheir past relationships on dates, but think back to your date. Did you subconsciously talk about them? “Oh Jenny used to love that movie!” or “Bob hated hiking. I’m glad you like it!” While you’re not really talking about them, you’re still referencing them, as you’re sitting on a date with someone else. That implies you’re dwelling, which for people who like to stay drama-free is a turnoff. Who wants to be compared to the ex all the time? You’re not with them for a reason. Don’t compare them to this great new person. Give them a clean slate.
You Complained: Nothing turns off someone who’s interested in you faster than complaining all the time. “I wish I could drop a few pounds,” “Ugh this food is terrible. We should’ve done a different restaurant,” or “Our waiter is terrible. What’s wrong with him?” are all things you should avoid saying on the first few dates. Be positive and happy to be on the date, until you have proven that you’re not an all-round negative person. Remember, they don’t have a lot to go on so the way you behave on the date is perceived to be how you are in general.
You Were Mean: Sometimes the waiter makes mistakes or people bump into you. When you’re on a date you need to be on your best behavior when this happens. Don’t be mean to the waiter for forgetting you wanted water with no ice. Don’t shove someone who bumps into you because it’s crowded and please, please, please don’t say, “Well there goes their tip!” That comment is rude and uncalled for. It’s not funny to someone who doesn’t know you- it’s mean. Also, if your date is a little out of the loop don’t make them feel bad by saying things like, “You didn’t know that?What’s wrong with you?” Try not to verbally react to things that annoy you on the date. Make your date feel like you are a friendly, welcoming person and they’ll want to see you again.
We hope these tips will help you in the future. Are you guilty of any of these things? Make an effort not to reference your ex (no matter what), be positive and make no complaints. Be friendly and welcoming on your date instead of a mean grouch and that hot date will stay hot for you!
If you aren’t making these mistakes, it just means there was no mutual chemistry. May be you were too much like a friend or didn’t seem interested enough- make sure to smile often. It could be any number of things, but as long as you are on your best behavior, it’s no fault of yours.
Being the best you is important to your dating life for many reasons. The most obvious reason is you wouldn’t want to date someone who wasn’t at their best, unless you’re into fixer-uppers. This sentiment is shared amongst other daters as well.
Being the best you is all about being at a place in life where you actually like yourself. I’m not talking about your accomplishments, your figure or your style. I’m talking about you. Your goal should be to like, no, love you! Love all of your imperfections and quirks. So you say weird things sometimes, think of yourself as delightfully quirky. You may need to lose a few pounds, in your mind say, ” I’m more to love.” You may be dating a little older. Tell yourself, “I’ve got the most experience in all things fun and I know the city better than anyone.”
It’s all about perspective. Now, this doesn’t mean you should have unrealistic beliefs nor does it mean give up on your goal to lose 10 pounds. It just means you should love yourself for the current you. Accept that life is a journey and you will change along the way. Embrace those changes, learn from those changes and use them to mold yourself in to someone amazing.
No one is going to want someone who dislikes themselves, especially if you’re obvious about it. Don’t complain about your hair or your weight all the time. Just improve it. Get a new haircut start exercising or find some delicious, healthy recipes so you’re not on a miserable diet.
Like yourself and it will make you more positive and happy. It will shine from the inside out and that shine is what will attract the partner you seek.
For more tips on being the best you visit: http://www.yourtango.com/experts/inez-bracy/3-ways-love-yourself-attract-your-mate-expert
Until next time,
So you got through your first date with her. Great! Wondering if she is interested in a second date? This post will share 5 signs she wants a second date with you.
1. She leans in towards you more as the date goes on: Everyone’s body language speaks about their subconscious. As she becomes more interested in you, getting closer to you will happen naturally. If she distances herself from you, that’s not a good sign.
2. Lots of smiling: This one may not be true for all women, but when something affects them positively, many will smile more. Laughing more is a good sign too. Laughing is her way of showing you she is enjoying herself.
3.She touches you: If she gives your shoulder a soft touch or grabs your arm while laughing, she is interested in you. Women don’t touch men who turn them off.
4.She texts you after the date: Usually women will do this, if they really enjoyed the date. Why else would she waste time texting you about how much she enjoyed herself, if not to drop a hint she wants another date? Whether she texts you or not, you should call her the next day and tell her how much you enjoyed the date, if you are interested in a second one.
Yes, everyone sends texts these days, but you are a gentleman so you are not going to do that. Asking for a date via text is for the extremely shy or daters who don’t really care. You’re a man, ask her out. Plus hearing your deep, manly voice may sway her to want a second date.
5. She suggests a future place: If she says something like, “We should try that new place on 5th Street,” you’re in there! She is basically telling you she wants a second date. All you have to do is ask her when she’s free.
These are just a few easy ways to tell she wants a second date. If she doesn’t give you any signs, during the date ask her if she enjoyed herself and, of course, call her sometime the next day. She may not know if she wants a second date or not, so maintain communication until you can get a better read from her. It’s okay to include text while you’re trying to figure her out but continue to call occasionally.
Tips to get her to want a second date during the first date here: http://guyism.com/lifestyle/7-tips-to-getting-a-second-date.html
Are you approachable? Sometimes the reason we’re still single isn’t that we aren’t attractive enough, funny enough or interesting enough, but we are too unapproachable for anyone to find out how great we are. Our last post was about being more attractive on an aesthetic level. Today you are going to learn the secret to being approachable with body language.
Being approachable isn’t about your appearance. The secret is in your body language. What is your body doing now? Is your face tense, fist balled or arms crossed as you read? It’s important to look friendly and welcoming when trying to attract a partner, for both men and women.
Women often want men to make the first move, but be sure to smile often and make eye contact. Not to the point where you look like a crazy person, but enough to let him know that you’re interested. Men are just as sensitive about rejection as women are. They may not say it but after a few rejections, they may be less prone to go up to every woman they are interested in without her welcoming them first.
In addition to smiling and making eye contact, try not to cross your arms. You’ll come off as cold and closed off. It helps to speak a little too. It’s okay to say, “Hi” or “Good morning” with a nice smile. Men like compliments just as much as women. Try giving him a compliment like, “Nice shirt” or “Is that a new haircut? It looks good on you,” if you see each other in passing often.
Men, the same goes for you. Smile a little and make eye contact. This may help your odds of her actually giving you a hint she is interested. If you don’t appear friendly, she’ll be a lot less likely to say, “Hi” or compliment you.
Although women approach men less than men approach them, it’s still important for you to be approachable so you’re not going in blind when you approach women. Your success with communicating with women who show signs it’s okay to approach them will be much higher than just approaching a woman who doesn’t look or smile your way.
More tips for women: http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/intimidating-unapproachable-women
More tips for men: There wasn’t much additional information on how to be approachable for men. If you know of any good articles we can share, let us know in the comments!
If you feel like you need a date coach, visit our website www.8at8.com and take a look at the ”1 on 1 Date Coach” tab.
Until next time, good luck!
In a perfect world, your looks wouldn’t matter, but in the real world, your appearance matters. We’re going to give you 3 reasons why.
1. Your personality is not eye candy: We know you’d like to think your personality is all you need to attract someone but when you walk through the door, no one is looking at your personality. They’re looking at you! Meeting someone while looking subpar will not make them want to get to know you. Let your great personality shine through by looking great on the outside too. By no means does this mean you should be shallow, but if you want someone to care enough to get to know you, you need to look like you care about yourself.
2. Eventually you are going to want to get physical: Okay, so he or she likes you for your stellar personality.
Now, the apple of your eye needs to be physically attracted to you for the physical part to start. You don’t want to get put in the friend zone because they can’t get past your awful hair and style from the 80′s. Update your closet and treat your hair like people are going to see it. Don’t let it get too greasy or messy and find a modern style that suits you.
Specific to women- Stop covering up your entire body! If you show leg, cover the chest and vice versa. If you cover everything, there is nothing to show you are actually a woman. Showing a little skin won’t make him judge you, just keep a good clothing to skin ratio. The femininity of your body is what is attractive.
3. Parents don’t want their adult child with someone who resembles a hobo: You don’t have to be Mr. GQ or a beauty queen, but look like you take pride in how you look. When you meet the parents, they shouldn’t think, “Why is my son/daughter with this person?!”
The point is groom yourself regularly and put yourself together. Don’t roll out of bed in your sweats without brushing your teeth or combing your hair and say, “look out world here I come!” Appear happy, be happy and someone will be happy to get to know you.
“I’m too busy to date,” we hear this at our dinner club all the time. Dating requires time, something most busy professionals don’t have. Does this mean you have to choose between a successful career and finding love? No, not at all. A few easy ways to combine your everyday life with your dating life are below.
Lunch Date: People think dates have to happen at night and they usually choose dinner. This is so not true! Sure, the first date should be your best impression but once you’re just trying to learn about a person, you can get creative. You have to eat lunch every day so eat lunch together somewhere nice. It will be fun to go some place new and make a new memory with the person you’re dating.
Care for Pets Together: If you and your sweetie both have dogs, walk them together regularly. It can become your new “thing.” Dog walking will be a time when you’re both calm and can talk even if it’s just for 30 minutes. Washing your dogs together can also be fun, if you have time to do it yourselves.
Workout Together: Exercising doesn’t leave much room for talking, if you’re doing it right, but you can make it fun. You two can go running and race one another or see who can swim the most laps in the pool. Weightlifting may not be a fair competition, but you get the point. Fitness classes are also a fun way to spend time together, while staying in shape.
Travel Together: This one is for the couples that have been together a little longer. If you are constantly traveling for work, take your significant other along. Of course, don’t mix business with pleasure and have them hanging out around at dinner with clients, but after your meetings, spend a little time before you get back to working. If you’re only free for two hours the whole time, he or she can go enjoy shopping or explore the area and take pictures for you. Those two hours of time together are better than none at all, especially if you are out of town a majority of the time.
These ideas are just a few to get you started but you can get as creative as you want. If the person is worth it, you will start noticing ways to incorporate them into your life. You’re never too busy for the right person.
For advice on dating a busy man visit this link: http://corporette.com/2011/05/03/how-to-date-an-over-achieving-busy-guy/
For advice on dating a busy woman visit this link: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-date-a-busy-girl-21372.html
Does it seem like you begin dating someone really great and a few months in you find yourself bored and less excited about the person you’re dating?
That is relationship fizzle. At first, everything is shiny and new with this new person you’re getting to know. There are so many new things to try and to talk about but, suddenly, you have nothing to talk about and you’re over the same old dates.
When your relationship reaches this point, it is important to keep communicating. It may seem obvious, but ask about the person’s day. Did they tell you about something going on with friends or family? Bring that up to show you were listening. Ask if anyone they know has tried something new and suggest you guys try it, if they liked it.
Really there are many ways to keep relationships from fizzling out. You just have to be willing to be creative and put in the work to keep your relationship exciting and interesting.
More tips on how to avoid relationship fizzle can be found here: http://www.twodaymag.com/love/view/5-reasons-relationships-fizzle